It’s Halloween and I’m packing for Paris. Before getting all excited for me, let me explain. Yes, it is Paris, but I’m a flight attendant and this is my job. The trip is not for pleasure, but the contents in the package I’m waiting for will insure my trip is full of pleasure anyway. The kind of pleasure that doesn’t cheat on you, doesn’t break your heart, and doesn’t leave you wallowing in debt. More about that later…
The grandfather clock in the den rings its familiar Big Ben chime. It’s straight up twelve noon. At the same time, the ding dong of the doorbell sounds and I rush to answer it. Left eye closed, I squint and peer through the peephole. My heart skips a beat at the sight of the younger-than-me UPS dude on the other side of the door. Tanned and muscular, he looks damn hot in those dark brown shorts. Tucked under his arm is a little brown package. He’s writing on his clipboard while I watch with excitement. When I don’t open the door, he grabs the knocker and gives it three loud repetitive raps which startle me into action. He’s pleasant when I answer.
“Afternoon, ma’am. I have a package for a…” he glances at his board, “…Linda White. It needs a signature.”
My cheeks splitting from my huge smile, I gush, “I’m Linda White.”
He extends the clipboard and smiles back. “All righty, then. Sign on the dotted line, Ms. White, and this baby is all yours.”
In a flash my signature is scribbled on the document. Heart beating in anticipation now that this little beauty is in my possession, my foot closes the door while I’m thinking, Honey, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this. Back braced against the door, I take a deep breath. Ordered weeks ago, I am dying to meet my new travel companion, BOB.
After dashing to the kitchen, I slice open the top of the package with a paring knife. My G-Spot stimulator is calling to me! I’ve timed this purchase, and was assured delivery would be made before five p.m. today. I’d even been tracking the package online all week in my anticipation. This was going to be a long haul flight, and I wasn’t looking forward to tackling it without some kind of relief.
The small box packed inside bubble wrap has the item color checked as ‘black’. I’d ordered hot pink, so I grab my glasses to read the label closer. My blood pressure rises when I see that what I’ve received is not my G-spot stimulator, “guaranteed to make you squirt with pleasure,” but, rather, a butt plug.